Dear Multiple Sclerosis,
We’ve been seeing each other for quite a few months now, but I know it is just the beginning of our relationship. When we first met I didn’t know much about you. I had heard your name before but never really given you much thought. But then you showed up one morning and changed my life forever.
You brought with you some of your not so pleasant friends. You know the ones I am talking about…numbness, tingling, lesions, burning, dizziness, and fatigue to name a few. You introduced me to steroid infusions, injections and MRI’s. I can’t say I’m a huge fan of those guys either.
You scared me more than I have ever been frightened before. You make me feel weak. You make me feel sick. You make me feel isolated and anxious. You took away my trust in my body.
You’ve been a tough pill to swallow. I’ve hated you, been bruised for you, and miss out on fun things for you, when you demanded it.
But I have not given in to you. I won’t ever stop fighting you. You may be a part of me now, but you are not what makes me me.
Despite your efforts, I have stood back up each time you’ve knocked me down. I have learned that I am stronger than I ever knew I was. You have taught me take my body seriously. To listen when it’s signaling to me that something is off. To focus on the positive more than the negative.
I have learned that even on my sickest days, I have people around me who will support and care for me. That I am never alone. I have learned that the power of love will shine bright enough to light up even the darkest of nights and frighten away even the most ghoulish of nightmares. I have learned to be courageous, even when I don’t want to be.
I have learned to take things a little slower and enjoy each minute. To stop and appreciate the everyday things and the beauty all around me. I have learned to love more fiercely, to be more quick to forgiveness and slow to anger. I have gained a compassion for life and the miracle that it is!
So in the end…I cannot hate you. For what use would that be? I’ve chosen to grow, rather than sit still. I’ve chosen to be inspired, rather than be afraid. I have chosen to fight. My life is still my life.
Mrs. MS Strong