The past week or so has been rough for me. I have been experiencing the MS hug, extreme fatigue (I’ve only felt it this severely once before), weakness, stomach problems, muscle spasms and shaking, and pain in my limbs, back, and chest.
I’ve been in contact with my doctors, so they know what is going on. My neurologist said I could be having a worsening of symptoms because the injections are working and as my nerves get a chance to heal they are misfiring more rapidly, and that it will pass in time. Other possibilities are an underlying infection causing a flare up, or an actual flare up. So I am really rooting for the first option!
When I get this sick I have noticed that my anxiety seems to use the time to take center stage in my thoughts. I start worrying that I will never feel better this time, that people think I am just lazy and don’t understand what I am going through, I worry that I am dying. I know that none of those things are true. That they are just the negative ideas and words of my anxiety. But it’s hard to just stop those thoughts when anxiety can be SO LOUD.
I know that I am stronger than this disease. I have bounced back from this before, and I will do it again. I just wish there was a little more certainty around Multiple Sclerosis. The unknown is a very scary thing. But I am arming myself for battle with my armor of blankets, my shield of heating pads, my noble steed Sir Mac N Cheese. But the most important thing I have to help me fight this battle is the love, positive energy, and caring actions and thoughts of my husband, family, friends, and all of you!
Let’s keep fighting this thing!
-A
Alix in Wonderland 